The company went into laborious seclusion for three humid months. Louise Flasser and I were discussing the various eschatons when the blast of a horn summoned our attention. We watched from the window as a mini-van arrived at the brownstone and blocked the parking lot entrance. The forgotten women tumbled out the vehicle hurling rotten fruit and obscenities at the Carnivores. Flasser threw up the sash without a hitch.
"How long has it been since the erection of the stele?"
After all the months of neglect, the discontented doxies finally came to call. These seven vestal virgins draped in black miraculously appeared at the drowsy bastion to announce the Dance of the Sun. (ANOTHER Vatican publicity stunt??? These beastly priests were getting desperate.)
Flasser probably said: "Ever noticed the marvelously erratic behaviour associated with minstrel cyclists?" Something along those lines.
"Now you've had it."
"I have? How was I to know there were going to be house calls?"
These harrowing harpies were harbingers of unsettling change.
Flasser slammed the window. "You just leave everything to me. This I can’t resist."
She relieved herself of duties and left me alone to deal with Original Sin. In response to the assault, the salivating subordinates ran outside to play baseball with their petulant paramours. The day was unseasonably warm. It should also be noted for the record that Pitman never showed. His intended [and how such a detestable miscreant ever managed to befriend and engage a woman of such agreeable disposition remains a hotly contested issue, even at the Fifth Gate] was left alone and inconsolable until the grazzled warhorse could be persuaded to approach the mound in relief and hurl some smoke at her. After the brush back, the ringing in my ear became unbearable. I had to bench myself during the seventh-inning stretch and retreat to the lab, where I experimented with new frequencies to mask the infernal noise in this pulsing head.
The floor was covered with cables as Herder dissected the modems. He started to drill. I covered my ears and winced against the shraylling banshee. He shut off the drill, but the noise continued.
"How long have you had it?"
"Fourteen years."
"Do they know the cause?"
I told him all about the amplifier. I was an idiot.
"Oh wow. A musician."
As if he didn’t know.
"Yeah. That gig got old fast and died."
"Well, it's new again. Simple as A, B and C," Herder said. "That game's got me thinking about dream manipulation. I've been tinkering with this wild idea."
"Moonlighting for the midnight mutants again? How I envy you."
Herder's reaction could barely pass for a smile. "Synchronicity. It's a secret I'm willing to share... with a kindred spirit. Interested?"
Judgment? Even then I was way beyond discernment. I was in no position to know any better - but everybody in our business knows: Never trust Security.
I didn't have time for secrets. The boys had me hooked on their subplots and dangling on the corners of their schedules. I didn't even know what my kids looked like anymore. I was a rotten father and I didn't even care.
"I know a way to get you inside the game."
Herder must've felt a slight tug on the line. I shrugged him off.
"Where have you been? We're already there."
"Not like this," he assured me. "I found the key to the back door. Ever thought of bypassing the retina?"
"It can't be done."
"Yes it can... via the cochlea. I go through the inner ear. Sounds good in the test pattern but I still need a human subject. This involves a substantial risk to someone with normal hearing. But you? You have nothing to lose. And there might be a bonus."
"To go with the brain damage?"
"I'm pretty damn sure it will stop the ringing in your ear... at least while you're on LIVE."
The computers in my office were promptly ripped apart. Herder efficiently converted the room into a replica of Zuse's laboratory, soldering new circuits into the central processing unit. I tap-danced across the keyboard, composing new symphonies. This was a maniacal counterpoint. We were embarking on a quest for Quasimodo's employer - the malevolent cardinal. The Doctor suspected the bell ringer was hiding in the antechamber between the cochlea and the temporal lobe. Most of his arcane equipment and haphazard methods were stolen from the medical school museum. His teachers had been wise to persecute him. It was obvious that Herder had been born without a soul. I was always falling into bad company.
We reassembled the equipment and prepared for the trials - after business hours, to be sure. (Need I remind you I still had a nominal role in this Faustus farce?) Anxiously, I submitted my ear to the first pure tone. So desperate was I for peace of mind, I would’ve begged Herder to drill a hole in my head from ear to ear.
This continued night after night. Herder’s enthusiasm was infectious and I assisted with the data collection. I kept forgetting that I was the experiment.
After a fortnight of improvisation, we plugged the tinnitus masker into the CPU, operating it concurrently with the Eden Program, swapping files and giving them just enough open space to feed off each other. As Herder had predicted, the bells were silenced straight away. No more grinding gears! I thought of that line from Milton:
Such a sacred and home-felt delight, such sober certainty of waking bliss, I never heard till now.
At that moment he could have convinced me of anything.
He began with PARADISIACAL INPUT:
//set the variable
x = "Adam"
y = "Marleau"
xy = "AdamMarleau"
What was AdamMarleau? Way better looking than Marleau, you might say. I could only devour the silence. This was a fully realistic landscape, as seen through the cerebral lens. It had to be. It was real. As a player, I was unbalanced by the enhanced depth perception. Mere mortals didn't perceive light this way. The changes were unsettling but you never questioned your existence in that place. Examining my arms, chest, and legs, I was astonished to discover they were my own. Even the scars were there. Then I tested the familiar flat feet. Hmmm. Not so flat anymore. I was ready to compete in the Marathon. I mean the actual Battle of Marathon, which we could’ve staged just as easily as Eden.
So what do I think was happening back on Earth while I was amusing myself in my new playground? Of course, you know Herder had brazenly taken command of my occipital lobe and I could only see what the Doctor allowed me to perceive - within the context of the script and the parameters of the program. He must've delighted in my distorted image on the VDT. Surely he felt a surge of power as he punched in new instructions for his pawn to progress through the first level.
I have no rational excuse for submitting to that Mengele wannabe. It was more than a moment of weakness. More like several weeks of humiliating weaknesses.
"Wello, wello, well! The eye of man hath not heard. Lend me your ear, Marleau!"
No joy was left in the stick once the participant had been relieved of all that cumbersome intermediate equipment. This was bound to happen at that rate of acceleration. The swaggering revisionist severed the leather straps from the captain's chair and confiscated the garish goggles and gangly gloves. It was a fair exchange for blessed assurance and fast fast fast relief.
NOTES
from The National Library of Medicine
Subjective tinnitus is considered to be:
a phantom sensation of sound,
experienced in the absence of any internal or external acoustic stimulus.
At present, the prevalence of tinnitus is unclear with published figures varying from 5.1 to 42.7%
Not only tinnitus itself but also associated depressive symptoms, anxiety, and insomnia, can have a negative impact on the quality of life of those affected.
It is estimated that in about 20% of adults who experience tinnitus, clinical intervention is required.
Currently, no curative evidence-based treatments for tinnitus exist.
Vagus nerve stimulation is approved by the FDA for refractory epilepsy and resistant depression.
Neuromodulation by VNS has emerged as a new treatment option for tinnitus. The underlying mechanism involves activating the nucleus of the solitary tract, which in turn can activate the locus coeruleus and nucleus basalis, which then release neuromodulators that have effects on plasticity regulation by modulating neurons in the cortex.
As tinnitus is associated with an imbalance between excitation and inhibition that may lead to map reorganization and increased synchronous firing of auditory neurons, neuromodulation by VNS might have a positive influence on this process. This idea was supported by a study by Engineer et al. in which the application of VNS in combination with pairing tones significantly increased excitability, suppressed spontaneous multi-unit activity in the auditory cortex, and completely eliminated tinnitus in noise-exposed rats.